You can catch him on the two hottest radio stations in Central NE: Middays on the Tri Cities Country Leader Y102 and in the afternoons on Nebraska's Best Music, Hits 106 . He loves writing short paragraphs on himself, baseball, overdosing, and drinking Culligan water when hungover.
He enjoys Weezer, Saturday Night Live, and telling people what the hell is up.
would have to be a deaf girl. A deaf girl would be great as a 3rd player in love games between you and your wife or whatever.
a. She would not be able to talk to you after wards, no pillow talk. Simply turn off the lights, and no one will be able to see her sign language.
b. She won't be able to hear you tell your wife you love her the whole time you are scoring with this hearing impaired woman. To keep the woman you really care for pleased, you can't slip for a second, making her think you're enjoying your trip inside of someone else. Keep telling her you love her, and she will believe it. Don't high five her, you aren't tag-teaming someone with your frat buddy, you're simply adding a little more cowbell to the band.
c. She won't be able to hear you cry after you have your embarrassing orgasm.
So when you and your loved on are scouring around looking for the this Musketeer, keep in mind someone who might not be able to say 'the safety word,' but love you all the same. Someone who is hearing impaired, but sexually sound.
This was from SNL hosted by Ashton Kutcher with Them Cooked Vultures (with Dave Grohl) as musical guest.
Here is what came of it, which is perhaps one of the greatest sketches of all time. Either you need to be in to bands like the Sex Pistols or the Dead Kennedys to really dig it, or just want to get on Ashton Kutcher.
Dave Grohl, if you weren't aware is perhaps one of the most talented musicians on the planet. His drum skills have been featured on albums by Queens of the Stone Age, Tencaious D and was also one of the founding members of Nirvana. After Nirvana ended, Grohl recorded all of the tracks for the Foo Fighters first album.
This was a hoot, a holler, and despite featuring Ashton Kutcher, kicked ass!
Is anyone unclear about where to vote for these Super Bowl blogs? And how to vote? And how our scores are added up for each weekly blog set? I'm getting scores I'm not happy with and I don't understand why . . . I know I've posted at least 3 a week.
Let me know how you guys are doing and what the word is . . .
I was throwing around some names for my man-parts. I guess everyone has one. Here are a few. And yes, my mom reads this.
Super Mario and the Goombas Bret Favre and the Packers Tricky Dick and the Gubernatesticals Fishing Rod and the Bobbers Swing Set Crosby, Stills and Nash A Spike Lee Joint Fred Flintbone and Pebbles Skittles and the Clark Bar The Ringling Brothers Present the Flying Elephant Teddy Rosevelt and the Rough Riders Pooh Bear and his honeycombs Mike Tyson and the knockouts President Lyndon B. Johnson Jorge Posada y Yankees de New York The American Idols
UPDATE: I've decided to stick to the one I've had for years . . .
(Saved by the Bell pink fuzz frames your daydream)
You're 84 years old, and the daughter you have treated like a princess her whole life decides to drop you off in a nursing home in the middle of nowhere.
Your room is about the size of an elevator and the staff only cares about you because they benefit off of the pills you have to take. Luckily for you they blind you from the rest of the world.
It frightens you to wake up where you are with no friends, family or pets. Would it have hurt so bad to let you bring your cat. The only thing you look forward to is walking in to the commons area and having jello with Verna.
It is nice to have lunch with her and watch the Ellen Degeneres Show. But BAM! You become a lesbian. Just like most women in old folks homes.
(back to reality)
DO NOT SEND YOUR PARENTS TO OLD FOLKS HOMES. YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO FRIENDS AND RELATIVES THAT NOT ONLY DID YOU FORSAKE YOUR PARENT IN TO TORTURE BY TAKING AWAY HER FREEDOM. BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO THEM THAT SHE IS A LESBIAN BECAUSE OF IT. IF SHE WAS AT HOME SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN JUST AS HAPPY WATCHING MATLOCK.
(JUST TO MAKE THINGS CLEAR LESBIAN GRANDMAS ARE NICE. AND IF THAT IS THEIR CHOICE, WURD UP GRANNIES. WURD UP)
(AND LASTLY, LESBIANS ARE TYPICALLY WONDERFUL IN MY BOOK. AND TO MAKE THINGS CLEARER, IF MULLETS DON'T WORK FOR MEN, THEY CERTAINLY DON'T WORK FOR WOMEN. AND THANKS FOR BEING ON OUR CO-ED SOFTBALL TEAMS. STRAIGHT CHICKS ALWAYS HIT IN TO DOUBLES.)
Here's a little ditty about a man named Peyton, and the horses he rode in on, The Indianapolis Colts of Indianapolis.
Lyrics underneath.
My wife moved out, she took the kids. I'm probably never gonna getta see um again I lost it all. Without a trace. Sold the house so I didn't catch bullets to the face.
Why'd ya lose Colts? Why'd ya lose Colts? My bookie's got me by my nuts and bolts. Why ya lose Colts? The Super Bowl Colts? Drive in to the river now I'm engulfed.
Now I'm drownin and I'm gonna die. Run out of Oxygen I'll say goodbye. What is that on the radio? The Magic beat the Celtics I bet on that one too.
Way to go Magic, beatin the Celtics. Gotta get out of the car before it submerges. Way to go Magic, way to go Magic. Now I'm a millionaire and it ain't so tragic.
It goes unchallenged that everyone in the world has their own problems and obstacles they have to overcome to live. And under most circumstances every citizen is protected by constitutional rights. However, when it comes to the security of the general public, perhaps some people’s rights should be limited.
When a criminal is caught, he is charged and serves time or pays a fine. After his release, the whole incident is in the past. It can come up in the future, when trying to apply for work, but that may not be enough, especially for sex offenders. Sex offenders are a different type of criminal. They’re so different from other criminals, that when they are incarcerated the other inmates treat them worse, the red headed step child of correctional facilities all over the United States.
Sex offenders can go unseen like a chameleon amongst the public, and has every right to do so. With that freedom we give them a chance to perhaps commit the same crime, or one similar to it. It is easy to find sex offenders in your area by simply looking in the sex offender database on the internet. But not everyone has the internet at their fingertips, especially in shopping malls, city parks, and sporting events. It is surprising to see parents letting their kids out of their line of sight without deep concern over their children’s well being.
It is unsettling knowing people with a history of convictions for sexual violence are allowed in society. What is more unsettling is that many offenders repeat their actions when released. The Cleveland State University Journal of Law and Health states “sex offenders in general with more than one sex crime arrest were about twice as likely to be rearrested for another sex crime when compared to those with no prior sex crime arrests.”
If more strict limitations were set for violators of sexual abuse, we can control the safety of the general public, and only be worried about the ones who have yet to be caught. Sending them to an uninhabited island would be too easy of an answer, but to label them with a ‘scarlet letter’ would be a little more appropriate. In Ireland government officials are toying with the idea of adding GPS monitoring devices to sex offenders with a high risk of repeating their crimes.
How would we label these ex-cons with out tampering with their civil rights? Well, the only way to do it is to take away some of those civil rights, and replace them with the allowance of not spending life in a correctional facility. This land of the free that we live in works great on many levels, and it is about time we begin making the club a little more exclusive.
Check out the ones near you. I once helped with the capture of a sex offender. Maybe you know one or two. Maybe they're sitting next to you in class, or on the bus.
Jerry is full of crap. The reach of his arms are shorter than mine, so I could probably beat him in a fight. He wears an Expos hat, but probably doesn't realize that they aren't a team anymore. And would probably say he hates the Nationals. Pretty unfair Jerry. Jerry's smug smile makes me want to impregnate his sister. If I had as many roofies as him I would put them in the swimming pool at Harmon Park while a group of Jerrys were swimming, making them all pass out and drown. I would not do what Jerry does, toss them in every sorority girl's drink before she can even tell him what her major is. At least he uses protection, when it is convenient. No one likes Jerry. It is too bad he shares his name with so many great people, Seinfeld, Stiller, Garcia, Ben and, and my Grandpa. Jerry is a douche.
Of porn cameramen not learning the ropes to shooting videos before making low grade films. Why do I have to sit through crumby angles and poor zooms just because the only kind of content I like is outlawed by commercial pornographers.
Is it so bad that a man likes livestock in his dirty movies? And is it so much for a young man to ask that the farmers who shoot and star in their pornos have a friend do the filming? Instead of having shaky, awful shots . . .
To hell with it,
I'm going back to only watching the Muppet Babies when I'm feeling frisky.
This GH Day marks the 24th year I have been on this earth, and I have gained quite a bit of knowledge on this journey.
Here is a list of 24 landmark events. One for every year in my life.
1986 - 9 months after I was conceived in the bathroom at Coney Island in downtown Grand Island, I was born at St. Francis Hospital, where my father was watching the Bill Murray comedy Caddyshack. I was told it was a sign from God, that I, Cornelius Helie would be born on the day of the Groundhog, and all while a gofer was being michevious on a golf course.
1987 - My parents by this point were sick of me crying when Caddyshack, Stripes, and Little Shop of Horrors was not available on a nearby tv, so they put cartoons on. The cartoon I was soon obsessed with, was The Real Ghostbusters.
1988 - I began to love animals at this age, and in my heart I always felt a connection with Garfield the cat. More to be read on this subject to come.
1989 - Bill Murray stars in the 2nd Ghostbusters film. My life changed. I made my friends and family call me Venkman, and I battled marshmallows in my free time.
1990 - I took a trip to Wrigley Field in Chicago, where I saw Bill Murray sing 'take me out to the ball game.' I had a heart attack that day. (Dad gave me an Old Style and a dog)
1991 - At this point in my childhood I really began becoming a real human being. With emotions, and personality traits. You could say some of these traits were disorders, one being Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I began counting my steps, prefferring things in evens over odds, and I would even count the amount of flakes in my fruity pebbles. This may or may not have had something to do with the release of 'What About Bob?'
1992 - In 1992 I became enthralled in sketch comedy, Saturday Night Live became an obsession of mine. I was writing my own sketches and acting them out, like SNL star William Murray.
1993 - Groundhog's Day, starring Bill Murray is released and quickly becomes my favorite movie of all time. My connection to the Murr-man gets stronger, more powerful.
1994 - This was the year I watched Ed Wood. I realized Tim Burton was a shitty director, and prayed B-Murr would stay out of his works from then on. No big deal.
1995 - I dressed as Venkman from Ghostbusters for Halloween. Kids told me I should have went as Stay Puft. I then found out about childhood obesity, and that I had it.
1996 - My love of sports grows as a ten year old. My sport of choice, the one that turns boys in to men, and girls in to men. BOWLING. With the release of the Farrely Brother's 'Kingpin,' my mind was made up, I must be a pro-bowler. HOWEVER, Bowling was pushed to the side, when the love a new sport came about.
Basketball . . . The glory, the balls, the boxing out with my rear end to grab a rebound. I loved the sport, mainly due to the fact that my favorite basketball player ever starred in a film with the Looney Toons. That man is known by one name and one name only, Air Murray. That's right, Bill Murray made Space Jam what is was. He killed in that flick.
1997 - I was 11 year old at this point in my life. Things were getting hectic, with the pressures of being a 4th grader and in Catholic school, always looking over my shoulder for priests . . .
To ease these nerves, I began imitating my hero, Bill Murray as Dr. Hunter S. Thompson in one of the greatest films ever, Where the Buffalo Roam. If it wasn't an ounce of marijuana here and there, it was a 8 ball of coke. If I wasn't eating acid like cheerios, I was hitting mescaline like Mike Tyson beating Peter McNeeley.
Me and my pal Gonzo went on crazy road trips to Vegas, where I shot firearms while drinking heevily.
1998 - Watched Rushmore, featuring The Murr-derer. This film boosted Murrays career, and my love for independant cinema.
1999 - Found a stray dog eating meatballs in an alley. Took it home and named her the Murr-maid. You know Bill Murray was in Meatballs, right? Not, just, a, coincidence.
2000 - My mom took my copy of Charlie's Angels away from me for using it for non-christian things. I was either snorting coke off of it, or using it for stress relief. You decide.
2001 - Perhaps you saw the Royals Tenenbaums? Well I did too.
2002 - Murr-maid gave birth to a litter of puppies. I kept each one. What are their names you ask . . .
Zissou Garfield Venky Raleigh St. Claire Bosley Ernie McCracken Greenskeeper Spackler Meatball Dr. Hunter and Bill Murrphy.
2003 - Had a thing for Scarlett Johansson. It may or may not have had something to do with Bill Murray.
2004 - Bill Murr-buckle lends hs voice to the live-action Garfield movie. This completes my list of things a man must do to beat Christ in a coolness contest.
2005 - Murr-maid died after a long battle with drinking bongwater out of the toilet.
2006 - Tail of Two Kitties. Garfield is back!
2007 - I found out that Bill Murr and I have more in common than I thought when Murray was pulled over by the Stockholm police for suspicion of driving a golf cart while intoxicated.
2008 - It comes to my attention there will be a new Ghostbusters video game. Intense partying begins, as does my weight gain, acne problems, and of course bad luck of female callers.
2009 - Bill Murray makes a dope appearance in Zombieland with Woody Harrelson. Don't let me creep you out with this or anything, but I'm thinking Bill and I found our third . . . if you know what I mean . . .
GOLF, I'm Talking GOLF!!!
SICKOS!
and lastly,
2010 - I just realized my whole life has revolved around being a Bill Murray fan. This is depressing. I might kill myself.
Naw, I just heard there is going to be a Ghostbusters III. Sounds like something to live for.
I hope you don't get the wrong idea, I just want to communicate to the world her dirty, vulgar lyrics.
Ever since that one time I was at a dude ranch and beat that dead horse, I decided I would stop beating dead horses.
So I will give one example of how the Album of the Year Grammy winner Ms. Swift put a suggestive lyrics in her song "our song."
Read these lyrics out loud to yourself.
"I was riding shotgun with my hair undone in the front seat of his car."
This is the first line out of the hit song, and as you can see t implies that she is clearly having sex with a man, in the front seat of his car.
The lyrics continue . . .
put them together and you have a lyric about two people, feeling eachother up and getting busy.
I will now put these lyrics in to terms you may understand better.
"I was riding shotgun with my hair undone in the front seat of his car. He's got a one hand feel on the steering wheel, the other on my heart.""
translates to
"I was riding your fallic device, with my hair dangling near my shoulders in the front seat of a gentleman's vehicle. One of his hands is placed on the steering wheel, (probably for leverage) the other on my heart (we all know when we tell a girl we want to feel her heart beat, we just want to squeeze her boob).
There it is folks. I know you're saying, "Cornelius, she was riding SHOTGUN. Shotgun means front seat." My response to you is, "yes, shotgun is the term generally associated with the front seat. However, her use of the words 'front seat of his car' negates that shotgun means front seat."
I guess I've still beaten this dead horse, so again, shotgun means penis, front seat of his car means front seat of his car. Taylor Swift is a pervert, and I would love for her to ride shotgun in the front seat of my car.
UPDATE: I forgot to include the actual meaning behind "I grabbed a pen and an old napkin and I wrote down our song." I will let you leave the truth behind that lyric up to you to figure out.
It takes a lot of work to be a cunning-linguist like myself.
I may not be a law abiding citizen, but I've never been caught committing a prison-worthy crime. This means I have earned my right to watch cable television and work out anytime I want.
If prison is a place where we send people who deserve punishment, why do we allow them to work out and watch cable TV? I have to work 6 days a week to afford the luxury of cable, and if the taxpayers are cool with dropping money for prisoners to watch the Gosselins, then I think the rest of the public should get cable too.
In Oklahoma, over $28,000 is spent yearly on allowing cable in the common's area in their 17 prisons. Though the money is funded through their convenience store items, it is still money that could and should be given back to the taxpayers.
There's nothing I love doing more than working on my physical appearance, as you can tell. But believe it or not, if I had easier access to work out equipment maybe I would be able to run a little faster and jump a little higher, which would be nice. Instead I'm stuck trying to burn calories the old fashioned way, unprotected sex.
And don't even get me started on the luxuries inmates get with sexual intercourse. If they get all these freedoms and sex to boot, where is the justice? The only sex that should be allowed in prison is unwanted sex, involving Maude reruns and sandpaper condoms.
All we are doing is preparing the average criminal to get out of prison, beat all of us on Jeopardy because of the knowledge they get from television, and take our spots on basketball rosters from hooping it up all day. It is like we are giving them the necessities they will need to get better at crime and more physically powerful by allowing them to spend countless hours working out, IN THE SHADE OF ALL PLACES. Do you want your criminals pumping iron, working on hand eye coordination, and preparing themselves to hit the streets harder?
Is cruel and unusual punishment spending a large amount of time in jail? Or is it being on the outside, nonathletic, with a horrible sense of pointless trivia, and without the comfort of guaranteed shower sex. I just don't think I can handle life on the outside. Like Brooks in Shawshank, I question my place here on this earth.
of Copeland Hall. Have you ever noticed this picture on the first floor of Copeland Hall? It looks suspiciously like Hollywood actor Kevin Costner.
I'm sure there is an explanation to who this gentleman really is. However, finding this out would mean I must do research, and it could very well not actually be Kevin Costner. If it is not a picture of him, and a picture of Randall P. Copeland I will be pissed, so even thinking about finding the real identity is out of the question for me.
Hanging out under the picture of the star from Waterworld is all I have to look forward to when I'm in school. I wonder sometimes if he's somewhere in a place of higher education staring at a picture of me.
If you know the truth, please keep it to yourself. Continue letting me think it is Kevin "Crash Davis" Costner, and bug off.
After going through perhaps one of the most difficult times in their great careers, the members of the band Weezer are hitting the road again. In November a bus crash left frontman Rivers Coumo in a rough spot, having to cancel two months worth of shows.
This is especially exciting for me, being a HUGE Weezer fan. I caught their show in Denver in September, and seeing them live would have to be one of the best experiences of my life. Stealing the show probably wasn't what they had planned to do when they opened for Blink 182, but it was exactly what they did.
The return of Weezer on the road will only help sales of their seventh studio album entitled "Raditude." In the album Weezer collaborates with such artists as Lil' Wayne, The All-American Rejects, Jermaine Dupri, and Kenny G. You may pick up Raditude and the Weezer Snuggie at their website www.weezer.com. In honor of this wonderful news, I have posted below some of my favorite Weezer work. Enjoy, and remember . . .
The following video is the last segment ever, on one of the greatest shows on television . . . EVER.
Last week we saw the end to what many believe was an all too short run for Conan O'Brien on the NBC Tonight Show. There has been worlds of talk about how this situation was handled, and it really is too bad the way things went down. But the real problem here is what all of us CONE-heads are going to do for seven more months without Conan. Last year, he had a short break while setting up his move to Los Angeles, and it was all to long.
Dammit, I thought that was going to be my last Conan gap for a long time. Late Night television is my favorite thing to watch and now I'm stuck with Jay Leno back in the bunch. Fortunately, with the exception of Carson Daly, evening programming is amazing. Although Leno was a great stand up comedian, his skills at hosting a humorous show have dwindled as the years have passed. If I had to guess why he had good ratings in recent years it is because of the geriatrics who watch his show don't watch it on the internet, like the thousands who regularly watch Conan, Jimmy Fallon, and Jimmy Kimmel.
Fallon, who took over Late Night last year will be NBC's big man soon, as he is hilariously funny, charming, and has great rapport with people in the industry as well as viewers. It will only be a matter of time until NBC figures out that Leno is over the hill, and they will be frantically searching for a shovel to dig themselves out of the hole.
As for the other night time talk show hosts such as the funny Scottsman Craig Fergusen, the legendary David Letterman, and portly humorist Jimmy Kimmel, be prepared to carry the weight that the Leno show will surely drop. Hell, maybe I should try to make my Night Time debut. That's is, I'm heading to H O L L Y W . . . OOOOOH, a delicious ring pop!
. . . in this dream I had last night. I watched this video of her on the show MTV Boiling points and it must have lingered in my head when I fell asleep. Check the video out yourself.
This clip is proof that she is not the strange bird everyone thinks she is. She's just a normal good looking girl who just wants some good service.I think it is kind of a relief that she is not as odd as she says. I'm sure it will upset all of the girls and guys who are bat shit crazy about her, however, it needs to be known, that Lady Gaga is just the product of a record company who wanted a new star, so they created one.
Record Exec. - "So, Lady Gaga. You want to be a pop superstar? We'll start by you going on this MTV show, where you will pretend you get a cell phone call and things go awry . . . Over 3 years you will lose 25 pounds, surround yourself with fallic shaped devices, and then we will send you on tour. But only after you've liberated the she males of the United States."
The Dream:
Upset about her career as a unique pop star being in jeapordy, Lady Gaga decided she wanted to go out like a star does. So, as she sat on the toilet to die like Elvis, she put a shotgun to her head and capped herself like Kurt Cobain. It was kind of vulgar.
Watch the Lame Ducks video for their hit song "Droppin Bombs Like Truman.
To complete my blogs on presidents this week I would like to share with you the ones that I find most interesting.
Honorable Mention Gerald Ford.
Gerald Ford really didn't do a lot for this country. But how was he supposed to, the man was never even elected to an office. He is also the ONLY president who was born in Nebraska (though he would claim Michigan) and the ONLY president whose first and last name end in the letter D. Ford was not re-elected mainly to do with him pardoning Richard Nixon. I salute that choice and it has earned him honorable mention.
5th Dopest: Abraham Lincoln.
This man did some cool things involving emancipation. But come on, the coolest thing about him was his unusually skeaky and high voice. It took years for people to actually want to hear him speak. I once read a funny story about how a little girl wrote him a letter saying if he grew a beard he would receive more votes. Three weeks later he had his famous facial hair, and was on his way to becoming president.
4th Dopest: Richard Nixon.
Tricky Dick was a bad ass. He grew up in the same town as Nomar Garciaparra and was a college football player, much like Gerald Ford who was an all star athelete. Nixon may have cheated to win the White House in 1972 again George McGovern, but the truth is McGovern would not have beaten Nixon either way. This was the biggest landslide election since George Washington, and Nixon sneaking around Watergate would not have made a difference. Oh, and he ended the Cold War.
3rd Dopest: Franklin Delano Roosevelt FDR was put 3rd on my list only because his wife Elanor Roosevelt was his cousin. Aside from that the man was an amazing president for over 12 years. He helped the United States through one of it's most difficult times all while keeping the fact he had polio and was confined to a wheelchair a secret from the masses. FDR died in office during his 12th year, and left Truman with the uneasy task of dropping the atomic bombs.
2nd Dopest: Theodore Roosevelt.
Teddy Bear was a "Rough Rider," a boxer, and one of the most hard core human beings to ever grace this earth. He was a tough as nails New Yorker who once got shot before a speech, and then finished the speech. He made his way in to office when McKinley was shot, and the world was concerned. However, Teddy and the big stick he carried did tremendous things for this country and earned a spot on Mount Rushmore, as well as getting his moniker stamped on the Teddy Bear.
1st Dopest: George Washington.
George Washington is on the dollar bill, he smoked pot, and he was an amazing soldier. Comparing Washington to any other president would be like comparing Steve Young to Joe Montana, Johnny Carson to Jimmy Fallon, or Jesus Christ to God. Washington understood democracy so well he refused to accept re-election more than once, and worked free of charge when in the White House.
Feel free to post your favorite presidents on here. I like feedback.
The rap video from above was written and produced by Cory Helie. The sweet raps that were being slain, were done by Trace Lewis and Cory Helie
Watch the video, and then learn something under it.
Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, Abe Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt in archival footage of a footrace in 1496 b.c.
Here's Fitty!
Two things I enjoy in my life very much are rap music and learning about the presidents of the United States. I would like to share with you some side by side comparisons of some of hip hop’s Warren G. Hardest rappers, and this country’s most gubernatorious presidents.
We could begin by getting the more obvious ones out of the way quickly. Barack Obama is like Eminem because of the color issues, Richard Nixon (who once said rap music could have been his calling if it was introduced sooner) is like gansgta rapper DMX for having growly voices, Snoop Doog and Abe Lincoln are both lanky individuals with unique voices and Tupac is much like John F. Kennedy, not for getting gunned down so early in their lives, but because of the many notable women that they slept with.
However the greatest resemblance between a president and rapper is the striking similarities between rapper 50 cent and the 26th president of the United States Theodore Roosevelt. Both born in New York, these two gentlemen took up boxing. Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson spent time sparring when not selling crack on the strip in Queens, New York, while President Roosevelt took up boxing to keep his physical condition in good shape while battling with childhood asthma and other ailments.
Both Roosevelt and 50 Cent have respective posses who have received a bit of fame for being associated with them. Theodore’s Rough Riders charged up Kettle Hill and San Juan Hill during the Spanish American War. Jackson’s G-Unit is a group of mix tape recording masters who sold drugs and start feuds with other rappers. Both mentored individuals who burned bridges with them. 50's G-Unit buddy The Game wouldn't agree to feuding with 50 Cents enemies, and Howard Taft and Roosevelt had a falling out which led Roosevelt to begin the Bull Moose Party. Both Roosevelt and Jackson also have similar nicknames. Theodore Roosevelt has often times been referred to as “Teddy,” and 50 Cent has the moniker of “Fitty.”
The most painful, unique and badass similarity between two of the greatest New Yorkers is the gunfire they have both been a part of. In 2004, Mike Tyson’s body guard, Darryl Baum allegedly shot Fitty nine times in different places all over his body at close range in front of his grandmother’s home. One of the bullets hit Jackson in the cheek, causing him to have a slur in his voice, which ended up helping him gain even more popularity.
Roosevelt had a similar situation happen to him while campaigning in Milwaukee in 1912; a saloon keeper shot the Teddy Bear in his chest after it passed through his speech and eye glass holder. Rather than getting medical attention for his wound, President Roosevelt went on to give the speech he had prepared, with both a bullet hole running through his speech, lodged in his chest. He opened his speech by saying “Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose.” Roosevelt lived the rest of his life with that bullet lodged in his chest. And 50 Cent, although it has given him a unique voice with his slight slur, also has fragments of one of the bullets in his tongue, a bond that the two of them both share.
I wouldn't go as far as saying that 50 Cent would be a great politician, or that Theo could sling crack. But they are both incredibly strong individuals whose characteristics gained them fame and respect. Teddy Roosevelt coined a term that is synonymous with his ideals, “speak softly and carry a big stick,” refers to treating conflict with peace, while simultaneously threatening with force. 50 believes in the use of a stick too. And I believe, that if Teddy and Fitty ever would have met, the phrase would have simply said, “Speak softly and carry a magic stick.”
Be prepared for a BIG DOPE POST to follow this one tomorrow. Bombs will be dropped like Truman.
to remember to fill this thing out after drinking and work. But it slipped my mind. It is funny how that works. You put all this time and effort in to a blog. Decide to work on it even more after drinking a bit, and then I forget to finish it off at 1 a.m.
How did that happen?
Oh, that's right. Hennessy makes you forget things.
when I start drinking. I like to get drunk at one of my jobs and dang it, why shouldn't we just check out how I am doing by around 1:30 a.m. See you later, if I can remember . . .
It was Martin Luther King Jr. day and it started out just as any day would begin. I woke up, brushed my teeth, showered and got ready for work. I was listening to one of my favorite morning radio shows Mike and Mike in the morning on ESPN Radio when I heard it. Mike Greenberg, let his tongue slip a little when he said Martin Luther Coon. Greenberg immediately corrected himself and said Martin Luther King Jr. Many people are calling him out for being racist, while many others are backing him, and his tongue-tied excuse. It is hard to believe that a man who has always shown reverence when it comes to African Americans. Greenberg has issued a statement claiming that his fast talking is the cause for the slip. Quite frankly, it makes absolute sense to me, especially since something similar has happened to me. It is not so uncommon for a radio host to slur words together and the outcome not work out so well. For example, I was once on air, speaking very quickly, when I slipped, saying “Call now if you want free movies for most of 2010, folks.” However, instead of saying folks, I spoke too quickly and said fucks. Luckily for me, no one in Nebraska seems to care about a vulgarity. Unfortunately for Greenberg, he happened to slip the word coon in when referencing a great man, on a day we should honor Dr. King. Hopefully, this will get resolved soon.
