Cory Helie

You can catch him on the two hottest radio stations in Central NE: Middays on the Tri Cities Country Leader Y102 and in the afternoons on Nebraska's Best Music, Hits 106 .
He loves writing short paragraphs on himself, baseball, overdosing, and drinking Culligan water when hungover.
He enjoys Weezer, Saturday Night Live, and telling people what the hell is up.



3/10/10

Cory of the Year

One less. That is right. Out of the hundreds of assholes who gave 'Corys' of the world a bad name has died. There have only been about two people I've met named Corey have been tolerable people and I've never met someone who spelled their name the way I do who has not been a complete asshole.

Now that Corey Haim has died, there is just one less person giving me a bad name. His drug abuse and terrible films have given him a recognizable name in the world as long as hanging out with the mildly respectable Corey Feldman. He was really nothing but Robin to the Batman.

It is really unfortunate that the only famous Coreys who weren't total douchebags either played a one-eared lunatic or sang a song about Sunglasses at Night. Alright, Corey Hart was a badass.

I'm not pleased the star of License to Drive is dead. I wouldt steal a car to bang Heather Graham as well. I just wish he would have changed his name to something like Rex or the name of his roommate in his frat house. Corey Haim will now be forever remembered as the Corey who died with prescription pills nearby with his mom in the room. And for that, I'm glad I'll be the Cory who died during an wing eating contest with Barry Bonds and Prince Fielder's fat asses.


(If you haven't seen License to Drive, this trailer will suffice. It explais thewhole story)
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2 comments:

  1. MerrickMarch 10, 2010 at 6:52 PM

    I like the video at the end. It was a nice touch...but since you never met him how can you really say hes an asshole? And how many other corys share this oppinion of you?

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  2. HELIEWOODMarch 11, 2010 at 9:31 AM

    Well, I guess I can't argue with you about that I've never met him. But by seeing him in the public eye for the last 20 or so years gives me a good opinion of how he might be.

    He had a reality show with his former teen bromance Corey Feldman. I watched the show quite a bit, and when his drug addictions tore his family and friends away from him, it was clear to see he was a dick.

    It is too bad he died. And Hope, I would not doubt for a second that dozens and dozens of people think I'm an asshole. I've never said I should get a name change ;) Thanks for commenting.

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