This is a funny behind the stage clip from Always Sunny.
FPS: She loves to be kinky
3 hours ago
5/10/10
5/6/10
It's been a while
With finals and working more hours this weed I haven't found too much time to post anything new. But believe me, my mind is still racing like ol' Super-Saver. I'll be getting back to you soon with some more nonsensical ramblings.
4/30/10
Meagan Fux
This will be my final post as a student in a blogging class.
I've been wanting to hit on this topic since I started blogging but never found the time to do it. So here you are!
Here is a list of 20 women I would rather bang than Meagan Fox.
1. Jessica Beil's little sister from 7th Heaven. Oh, Lucy. If only you were.
2. The woman Mike Tyson victimized. Show her how a real man gets down.
3. My 1st girlfriend's mom.
3.5 My 11th grade Health teacher. She was also my first girlfriend's mom.
4. A Real life Transofrmer. Probably Jazz, RIP.
5. Jerry's girlfriend.
6. Kathy Bates.Her nude scene in About Schmidt still gets me.
7. Jessica Rabbit. Kathleen Turner's voice, and buoyant breasts.
8. Christopher Reeves' wife. Why? Why not?
9. Grover Cleveland's daughter, "Baby Ruth"
10. An actual Baby Ruth candy bar
11. The beer cart girl at the golf course. What can I say, she doesn't laugh when I mulligan, and she gives me free Michelob.
12. Shia LaBeouf. But Cory, that's a guy. Maybe he is. But he's still Ren Steven's brother.
13. My mom's half-sister. HALF-sister. It is only half illegal.
14. Jackie Onassis.
15. The lady that does my girlfriend's nails. Because she always convinces my girlfriend to get chinese food for lunch.
16. The Olsen Twins. Mainly because I've always wanted to have a 3-way. With a lot of cocaine involved.
17. The chick from M*A*S*H. Margaret Houlihan.
18. The St. Louis Cardinals, for constantly screwing the Chicago Cubs.
19.Janet Jackson. Not now, but when she was on Diff'rent Strokes.
20. My child psychologist. She knows all my secrets.
There's the list, in no specific order, of people I would rather get it on with in Meagan Fox's place.
I've been wanting to hit on this topic since I started blogging but never found the time to do it. So here you are!
Here is a list of 20 women I would rather bang than Meagan Fox.
1. Jessica Beil's little sister from 7th Heaven. Oh, Lucy. If only you were.
2. The woman Mike Tyson victimized. Show her how a real man gets down.
3. My 1st girlfriend's mom.
3.5 My 11th grade Health teacher. She was also my first girlfriend's mom.
4. A Real life Transofrmer. Probably Jazz, RIP.
5. Jerry's girlfriend.
6. Kathy Bates.Her nude scene in About Schmidt still gets me.
7. Jessica Rabbit. Kathleen Turner's voice, and buoyant breasts.
8. Christopher Reeves' wife. Why? Why not?
9. Grover Cleveland's daughter, "Baby Ruth"
10. An actual Baby Ruth candy bar
11. The beer cart girl at the golf course. What can I say, she doesn't laugh when I mulligan, and she gives me free Michelob.
12. Shia LaBeouf. But Cory, that's a guy. Maybe he is. But he's still Ren Steven's brother.
13. My mom's half-sister. HALF-sister. It is only half illegal.
14. Jackie Onassis.
15. The lady that does my girlfriend's nails. Because she always convinces my girlfriend to get chinese food for lunch.
16. The Olsen Twins. Mainly because I've always wanted to have a 3-way. With a lot of cocaine involved.
17. The chick from M*A*S*H. Margaret Houlihan.
18. The St. Louis Cardinals, for constantly screwing the Chicago Cubs.
19.Janet Jackson. Not now, but when she was on Diff'rent Strokes.
20. My child psychologist. She knows all my secrets.
There's the list, in no specific order, of people I would rather get it on with in Meagan Fox's place.
Why Listen?
College radio is one of the best resources for any music fan. You can sit back, and listen to ANY song in the world. For there are no restrictions on non-profit radio. You can smoke drugs, and laugh as the bumbling dj's try to convince you to watch the new Will Ferrel movie, even though by "new" they mean it isn't Anchorman.
The possibilities are endless, as college stations can do about anything they want. In a community like Kearney, college radio could be very big. By getting the community behind their efforts, there is a good chance that KLPR could be a real competitor.
To anyone trying to get in to radio, please try to make the college station survive, and soar above all other college stations. You have the power!
The possibilities are endless, as college stations can do about anything they want. In a community like Kearney, college radio could be very big. By getting the community behind their efforts, there is a good chance that KLPR could be a real competitor.
To anyone trying to get in to radio, please try to make the college station survive, and soar above all other college stations. You have the power!
4/26/10
4/23/10
NFL DRAFT
If anyone has seen the ongoing NFL Draft you would know the big news . . .
No, not that Suh was drafted 2nd, or that Tebow will be a Bronco. The big news is that there will be a Coors Light Home Draft. That's right, you can buy draft Coors Light to put in your fridge, that will last up to 30 days.
Considering I do not believe that it will last 30 days, I still think that up to 4 days is long enough for me to drink it, which makes it outstanding. This is the kind of invention that makes me look forward to growing older.
I'm going to be able to have a Coors draft after hours. It will change my life. I can begin planning my schedules around when I can drink. The world has become a better place and I am pleased.
On a side note, a random fraternity member at a bar told me, " The NFL Draft would be more interesting if Dane Cook was the NFL commish." I knew he was in a frat because it was how he introduced himself.
No, not that Suh was drafted 2nd, or that Tebow will be a Bronco. The big news is that there will be a Coors Light Home Draft. That's right, you can buy draft Coors Light to put in your fridge, that will last up to 30 days.
Considering I do not believe that it will last 30 days, I still think that up to 4 days is long enough for me to drink it, which makes it outstanding. This is the kind of invention that makes me look forward to growing older.
I'm going to be able to have a Coors draft after hours. It will change my life. I can begin planning my schedules around when I can drink. The world has become a better place and I am pleased.
On a side note, a random fraternity member at a bar told me, " The NFL Draft would be more interesting if Dane Cook was the NFL commish." I knew he was in a frat because it was how he introduced himself.
4/21/10
Crack Me Up
So this morning I'm sitting, watching my favorite ESPN show First Take, and this happens. Right when he said 'fucker' it did not register for a few seconds until he said shit, on live tv! How does this kind of thing happen? Get your delays right ESPN.
4/19/10
Are You Yanking Me, You're Yanking Me
Take a look at this. Kevin Garnett, one of my favorite members of the Boston Celtics was suspended one game for an elbow. Quentin Richardson is the one who should be suspended, for being a playground bitch.
As you can see, right as the spectacle begins, Richardson oh so gently touches Garnett on his cheek. Garnett should have curb stomped him for touching him on the face. I'm not sure if he thought Garnett was cute, and was trying to seduce him, or if he was that kid in grade school who had too touch everyone as he walked past him. I hated that damn kid in grade school. I think most men would agree, you don't touch a man's face like that. For that, Quentin Richardson is a playground bitch.
CARRY A MAGIC STICK (FINAL)
Through countless history books and rap tapes I stole from the vinyl store, I’ve learned that some of hip hop’s Warren G. Hardest rappers and this country’s most gubernatorious presidents share more than just the soil they walk on.
Barack Obama is like Eminem because of the color issues, Richard Nixon (who once said rap music could have been his calling if it was introduced sooner) is like gansgta rapper DMX for having growly voices, Snoop Doog and Abe Lincoln are both lanky individuals and Tupac is much like John F. Kennedy, not for getting gunned down so early in their lives, but because of the many women that they slept with.
However the greatest resemblance between a president and rapper is the striking similarities between rapper 50 Cent and the 26th president of the United States Theodore Roosevelt. Both born in New York, these two gentlemen took up boxing. Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson spent time sparring when not selling crack on the strip in Queens, while President Roosevelt took up boxing to keep his physical condition in good shape while battling with childhood asthma and other ailments.
Both Roosevelt and 50 Cent have posses who have received a bit of fame for being associated with them. Theodore’s Rough Riders charged up Kettle Hill and San Juan Hill during the Spanish American War, and Jackson’s G-Unit is a group of mix tape recording masters who sold drugs and started feuds with other rappers.
Both mentored individuals who burned bridges with them. 50's G-Unit buddy The Game wouldn't agree to feuding with 50 Cents enemies, and Howard Taft and Roosevelt had a falling out which led Roosevelt to begin the Bull Moose Party. Both Roosevelt and Jackson also have similar nicknames. Theodore Roosevelt has often times been referred to as “Teddy,” and 50 Cent has the moniker of “Fitty.”
The most painful and unique similarity between two of the greatest New Yorkers is the gunfire they have both been a part of. In 2004, Mike Tyson’s body guard, Darryl Baum allegedly shot Fitty nine times in different places all over his body at close range in front of his grandmother’s home. One of the bullets hit Jackson in the cheek, causing him to have a slur in his voice, which ended becoming his trademark.
Roosevelt had a similar situation happen to him while campaigning in Milwaukee in 1912; a saloon keeper shot the Teddy Bear in his chest after it passed through his speech copy and eye glass holder. Rather than getting medical attention for his wound, President Roosevelt went on to give the speech he had prepared, with a hole through his speech, and lodged in his chest. He opened his speech by saying “Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose.” Roosevelt lived the rest of his life with that bullet lodged in his chest while 50 Cent also has fragments of one of the bullets in his tongue, a bond that the two of them both share.
I wouldn't go as far as saying that 50 Cent would be a great politician, or that Theo could sling crack. But they are both incredibly strong individuals whose characteristics gained them fame and respect. Teddy Roosevelt coined a term that is synonymous with his ideals, “speak softly and carry a big stick,” refers to treating conflict with peace, while simultaneously threatening with force. 50 believes in the use of a stick too, in his song Magic Stick, which was a chart topper. Put the two ideas together and you get a phrase this country can run on, “Speak softly and carry a magic stick.”
Barack Obama is like Eminem because of the color issues, Richard Nixon (who once said rap music could have been his calling if it was introduced sooner) is like gansgta rapper DMX for having growly voices, Snoop Doog and Abe Lincoln are both lanky individuals and Tupac is much like John F. Kennedy, not for getting gunned down so early in their lives, but because of the many women that they slept with.
However the greatest resemblance between a president and rapper is the striking similarities between rapper 50 Cent and the 26th president of the United States Theodore Roosevelt. Both born in New York, these two gentlemen took up boxing. Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson spent time sparring when not selling crack on the strip in Queens, while President Roosevelt took up boxing to keep his physical condition in good shape while battling with childhood asthma and other ailments.
Both Roosevelt and 50 Cent have posses who have received a bit of fame for being associated with them. Theodore’s Rough Riders charged up Kettle Hill and San Juan Hill during the Spanish American War, and Jackson’s G-Unit is a group of mix tape recording masters who sold drugs and started feuds with other rappers.
Both mentored individuals who burned bridges with them. 50's G-Unit buddy The Game wouldn't agree to feuding with 50 Cents enemies, and Howard Taft and Roosevelt had a falling out which led Roosevelt to begin the Bull Moose Party. Both Roosevelt and Jackson also have similar nicknames. Theodore Roosevelt has often times been referred to as “Teddy,” and 50 Cent has the moniker of “Fitty.”
The most painful and unique similarity between two of the greatest New Yorkers is the gunfire they have both been a part of. In 2004, Mike Tyson’s body guard, Darryl Baum allegedly shot Fitty nine times in different places all over his body at close range in front of his grandmother’s home. One of the bullets hit Jackson in the cheek, causing him to have a slur in his voice, which ended becoming his trademark.
Roosevelt had a similar situation happen to him while campaigning in Milwaukee in 1912; a saloon keeper shot the Teddy Bear in his chest after it passed through his speech copy and eye glass holder. Rather than getting medical attention for his wound, President Roosevelt went on to give the speech he had prepared, with a hole through his speech, and lodged in his chest. He opened his speech by saying “Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose.” Roosevelt lived the rest of his life with that bullet lodged in his chest while 50 Cent also has fragments of one of the bullets in his tongue, a bond that the two of them both share.
I wouldn't go as far as saying that 50 Cent would be a great politician, or that Theo could sling crack. But they are both incredibly strong individuals whose characteristics gained them fame and respect. Teddy Roosevelt coined a term that is synonymous with his ideals, “speak softly and carry a big stick,” refers to treating conflict with peace, while simultaneously threatening with force. 50 believes in the use of a stick too, in his song Magic Stick, which was a chart topper. Put the two ideas together and you get a phrase this country can run on, “Speak softly and carry a magic stick.”
4/17/10
Not Don Henley's Boys of Summer
Whether you're eating them at a hot dog stand, hot off your grill, or at your favorite baseball park, hot dogs are synonymous with summer fun. I may seem like a piggy, or a freak, but I have probably already eaten 25 hot dogs since the end of March, and I don't think I'm going to be quitting any time soon. I'm not quite sure of the health risks, and quite frankly I don't care.
On Opening Day of baseball I picked out the player I thought would hit the most home runs. Though I absolutely hate the Cardinals, I chose Albert Pujols. I've decided that everytime Albert Pujols hits one over the fence, i would eat a hot dog.
That day, Albert hit two home runs, and i ate two frankfurters hot off my grill. Delicious. This delicious oath I have made to baseball is definately something i look forward to. Now I am forced to snack on hot dogs regularly, and am thrilled. So folks, get your foam fingers and Coors light ready, because the real Boys of Summer are back, and they're weenies.
4/15/10
4/12/10
Do me a favor
A old friend of mine just began his first blog. If you would follow him or at least check it out that would be cool. http://jockstersjibber.blogspot.com
4/11/10
My Mom
Reads my blog. Why? Because she's loved hearing me talk shit and speak out of my ass for years. She read a blog I wrote about how she used to annoy me when she would answer the phone and talk loud as hell while the rest of us in the room were trying to listen to something more interesting than her talk to her her friends about whose bed whose boots have been under.
Then she demanded I mention some nice things about her, so my "followers" don't think she is a lunatic. So to adhere to her (and somehow make her seem more sane, which by this very articles purpose makes her seem Mary Todd Lincoln crazy. So here we go, some nice things about the mother of the foul-mouthed Cory Helie.
She once bought me a Doctor's Kit when I was a kid. Though it had to be painfully obvious I would never be a doctor. That would be like buying a little girl a United States President Kit. There's just not a lot of point to it.
She paid for years and years of Catholic school for my brothers and I. By doing this, she really sent me to a school to teach me how to argue against religion and drive people crazy. Either way you see it, the Bible is something I learned whether for good or bad. And thanks to her sending me there, I have made Theology teachers cry and can beat about anyone's ass in Bible trivia.
Though this list could go on for pages, I will leave you with one more example, because after all this is the weekend and I could use the break. My mother has this understanding quality which not many mothers probably have. Most parents would say that no matter what their kids say or do they will love them. However, a lot of disturbing things have come out of my mouth in front of my mom, and it has to be a pretty cool thing when you can say "rug muncher" in front of your mom.
I know you're supposed to respect your mother and father, and in ways repay them for raising you the right way. Well, one way I repay my parents is by honoring them in a way many don't. The Bible says honor your mother and father. Well, there's no better way of honoring them than to make them a friend. For friends are the people in life you choose, and family are the people you hope still love you when your Principal tells them . . .
Do you know Cory asked his religion teacher "if Jesus had low self-esteem would he be an atheist for not believing in himself?"
Then she demanded I mention some nice things about her, so my "followers" don't think she is a lunatic. So to adhere to her (and somehow make her seem more sane, which by this very articles purpose makes her seem Mary Todd Lincoln crazy. So here we go, some nice things about the mother of the foul-mouthed Cory Helie.
She once bought me a Doctor's Kit when I was a kid. Though it had to be painfully obvious I would never be a doctor. That would be like buying a little girl a United States President Kit. There's just not a lot of point to it.
She paid for years and years of Catholic school for my brothers and I. By doing this, she really sent me to a school to teach me how to argue against religion and drive people crazy. Either way you see it, the Bible is something I learned whether for good or bad. And thanks to her sending me there, I have made Theology teachers cry and can beat about anyone's ass in Bible trivia.
Though this list could go on for pages, I will leave you with one more example, because after all this is the weekend and I could use the break. My mother has this understanding quality which not many mothers probably have. Most parents would say that no matter what their kids say or do they will love them. However, a lot of disturbing things have come out of my mouth in front of my mom, and it has to be a pretty cool thing when you can say "rug muncher" in front of your mom.
I know you're supposed to respect your mother and father, and in ways repay them for raising you the right way. Well, one way I repay my parents is by honoring them in a way many don't. The Bible says honor your mother and father. Well, there's no better way of honoring them than to make them a friend. For friends are the people in life you choose, and family are the people you hope still love you when your Principal tells them . . .
Do you know Cory asked his religion teacher "if Jesus had low self-esteem would he be an atheist for not believing in himself?"
M. Nuff is M. Nuff
I have had it. I have had it up to here. I have had it up to here with M. Night Shyamalan movies. This morning I got tricked in to watching one of his movies, The Happening. I see one of my favorite actors, Mark Wahlberg, and his co-star Zoey Deschanel and a plot line involving a bunch of people killing themselves. Sounds cool enough, sure it does.
But Shyamalan couldn't write a good movie ending to save his life. His movies are very climactic typically, until the ending rolls around and ruins it all.
SPOILERS!!!
The movie ends when an old lady dying, and the world is good again. Kind of.
M. Night needs to get out of the film business, his business would best be in books. His movie endings are always the same and ruin the rest of the film. Things slowly fizzle and the credits roll. And I HATE IT!!!
He is the worst! Go back to Mexico!
But Shyamalan couldn't write a good movie ending to save his life. His movies are very climactic typically, until the ending rolls around and ruins it all.
SPOILERS!!!
The movie ends when an old lady dying, and the world is good again. Kind of.
M. Night needs to get out of the film business, his business would best be in books. His movie endings are always the same and ruin the rest of the film. Things slowly fizzle and the credits roll. And I HATE IT!!!
He is the worst! Go back to Mexico!
4/6/10
Pet Peeve
So I was sitting on my couch watching Major League starring Charlie Sheen, when my girlfriend's phone rings. She takes the call. I continue watching Rick "Wild Thing" Vauhgn 'strike this motherfucker out' when her conversation got louder and louder.
As a Tiger Woods commercial came on and my attention swerved (he makes me so sick, he's a cheater) I began remembering how my mother used to always take calls in front of others in our family room and how she could bring walls down with her loud conversations.
She never quite understood how much that pissed me off. I always found it kind of rude that someone could make what they were saying overtake an entire population of people in the room. Whether it was just the two of us or the whole Helie crew (me and her seven other sons and dad).
My senses hit me when the sound barrior broke at the pitch of Danielle's conversation. The anger could have turned me green and hulk-like, until she politely asked "am I being too loud? I could go in the other room." I politely replied "yes please, that would be great."
Situation diffused.
How lucky am I? A problem arose and took care of itself. Just like Jake Taylor, she sacrifice bunted. It all worked out, even though I did nothing to solve the problem. Is major league kind of a metaphor for a relationship? Or was i just being a tool about people overpowering the room. Let's go with Major League being a metaphor here.
Sometimes your your relationship gets in to a pinch. Whether it is a World Series size problem or Minor League skirmish, dissecting the problem and taking action will in turn take your team to the big show. So beware folks, pay close attention to the little things with your partner and improve upon things as neccessary, your relationship will be much more fulfilling.
Author's Note: Anything in parenthesis is a bold lie. Tiger Woods is the man and I only have two brothers.
As a Tiger Woods commercial came on and my attention swerved (he makes me so sick, he's a cheater) I began remembering how my mother used to always take calls in front of others in our family room and how she could bring walls down with her loud conversations.
She never quite understood how much that pissed me off. I always found it kind of rude that someone could make what they were saying overtake an entire population of people in the room. Whether it was just the two of us or the whole Helie crew (me and her seven other sons and dad).
My senses hit me when the sound barrior broke at the pitch of Danielle's conversation. The anger could have turned me green and hulk-like, until she politely asked "am I being too loud? I could go in the other room." I politely replied "yes please, that would be great."
Situation diffused.
How lucky am I? A problem arose and took care of itself. Just like Jake Taylor, she sacrifice bunted. It all worked out, even though I did nothing to solve the problem. Is major league kind of a metaphor for a relationship? Or was i just being a tool about people overpowering the room. Let's go with Major League being a metaphor here.
Sometimes your your relationship gets in to a pinch. Whether it is a World Series size problem or Minor League skirmish, dissecting the problem and taking action will in turn take your team to the big show. So beware folks, pay close attention to the little things with your partner and improve upon things as neccessary, your relationship will be much more fulfilling.
Author's Note: Anything in parenthesis is a bold lie. Tiger Woods is the man and I only have two brothers.
4/3/10
Eight Dollars Can Get You In To More Than Just The Box Office (final draft)
I've had my share of adventurous sexual experiences. Some uncoordinated, one in a baseball dugout, and one in fact many wouldn't even call sex, because the girl didn't realize what had happened. But the one crazy place I've always wanted to get down to business would have to be the same place I saw my first naked lady. Not my parent’s bedroom, the place where the likes of Pee Wee Herman has spread his seed, the Cinema.
It began at a young age; my dad took me to see a movie that would forever impact me, Doc Hollywood. The year was ‘91 and I loved Michael J. Fox films, roughly 16 minutes in to this small town hospital comedy, Julie Warner’s character got naked. And at age five I decided I wanted to have intercourse with a girl in a theatre. It wasn’t instantly that I would have the charm it takes to convince a girl to sleep with me. After I struck out with the “hole in the bottom of the popcorn” trick, I decided to try something else, I figured the best way to get action at the cinema was to take a girl to a foreign language film.
There I was sitting next to one of the most gorgeous girls I’ve ever shared Twizzlers with. Her hair was blonde, her legs were long and her reputation was tarnished, so I was sure this was going to happen. Unfortunately as I slipped my hand up her thigh, the main character was being beaten to the ground, and on a long walk to his crucifixion; my date dropped to her knees and began to sob. Needless to say, she and I never went on another date. However she is born again and I learned an important lesson; do not take a date to see The Passion of the Christ.
After my last attempt, I gave it a rest until I was older. We had both been drinking that evening and the plan was working like a charm. She was full of shellfish and Mike’s Lemonade, both well known aphrodisiacs, and her two favorite actors happened to be in this particular flick. And then a blessing from God, the theatre was completely empty.
In contrast to past advances I had made, she was all over me. Chocolate covered pretzels were in “places” and my feet stuck to the soda stained floor as I shimmied my Dickies to the ground. It was not long in to the movie when we pulled the “one pant leg on, on pant leg off trick” like we were trying to get it on in our parent’s living room. I was about to do the wild thing in front of the big screen, but that was not what fate had in mind; fate felt like my libido needed an intermission.
It turns out the movie I agreed to see with was no normal movie. Right as I was about to butter her popcorn, the movie took its own sexual twist, which couldn’t help but interrupt what I had in mind. We looked up togetherThe Box Office star Heath Ledger spit on his hand, and began making love to Bubble Boy star Jake Gyllenhaal.
Is it a curse? My dreams have me getting lucky in front of people like Sly Stallone and Ed Murphy, when chances are I will never succeed. I must accept my destiny of being one of those men who tried to accomplish greatness, but fell short. Like Karl Malone, I came close and could not seal the deal. Don’t worry movie fans, I won’t be retiring my jersey just yet, there’s a whole fresh batch of summer movies on the way and this guys ready for action.
It began at a young age; my dad took me to see a movie that would forever impact me, Doc Hollywood. The year was ‘91 and I loved Michael J. Fox films, roughly 16 minutes in to this small town hospital comedy, Julie Warner’s character got naked. And at age five I decided I wanted to have intercourse with a girl in a theatre. It wasn’t instantly that I would have the charm it takes to convince a girl to sleep with me. After I struck out with the “hole in the bottom of the popcorn” trick, I decided to try something else, I figured the best way to get action at the cinema was to take a girl to a foreign language film.
There I was sitting next to one of the most gorgeous girls I’ve ever shared Twizzlers with. Her hair was blonde, her legs were long and her reputation was tarnished, so I was sure this was going to happen. Unfortunately as I slipped my hand up her thigh, the main character was being beaten to the ground, and on a long walk to his crucifixion; my date dropped to her knees and began to sob. Needless to say, she and I never went on another date. However she is born again and I learned an important lesson; do not take a date to see The Passion of the Christ.
After my last attempt, I gave it a rest until I was older. We had both been drinking that evening and the plan was working like a charm. She was full of shellfish and Mike’s Lemonade, both well known aphrodisiacs, and her two favorite actors happened to be in this particular flick. And then a blessing from God, the theatre was completely empty.
In contrast to past advances I had made, she was all over me. Chocolate covered pretzels were in “places” and my feet stuck to the soda stained floor as I shimmied my Dickies to the ground. It was not long in to the movie when we pulled the “one pant leg on, on pant leg off trick” like we were trying to get it on in our parent’s living room. I was about to do the wild thing in front of the big screen, but that was not what fate had in mind; fate felt like my libido needed an intermission.
It turns out the movie I agreed to see with was no normal movie. Right as I was about to butter her popcorn, the movie took its own sexual twist, which couldn’t help but interrupt what I had in mind. We looked up togetherThe Box Office star Heath Ledger spit on his hand, and began making love to Bubble Boy star Jake Gyllenhaal.
Is it a curse? My dreams have me getting lucky in front of people like Sly Stallone and Ed Murphy, when chances are I will never succeed. I must accept my destiny of being one of those men who tried to accomplish greatness, but fell short. Like Karl Malone, I came close and could not seal the deal. Don’t worry movie fans, I won’t be retiring my jersey just yet, there’s a whole fresh batch of summer movies on the way and this guys ready for action.
4/1/10
Easter
A big holiday is coming Sunday that I want everyone to celebrate with their hearts full and their families close by. It isn't everyday that you get to see children smile, with high hopes and aspirations. This Sunday a new leaf gets turned and resurrection occurs. My prayers will go up to God before I lay my head to sle...ep Saturday Night. For Sunday is a day of celebration. Opening Day: Red Sox v Yankees. Praise God.
3/31/10
I know it is not easy. EXCEPT IT IS!
Counting change. It is so difficult, right? Do you start with the small bills or the change? Who knows?
I'll tell you who should know, ANYONE WHO TOUCHES MONEY!
This pisses me off so much. I've worked in retail, and as difficult as it may be to count change for some people, it NEEDS to be done. People should take their work more seriously, if you can not do your customers the service of counting their money back to them, then you need to find a new job.
By continuing to try and count change to customers, you will figure out how to do it. Practice makes perfect, and it can't feel good to get all of those looks from people that make you feel like a moron. So please, for everyone's sake, don't make the general population of America look any dumber than we are. COUNT CHANGE!!!!
I'll tell you who should know, ANYONE WHO TOUCHES MONEY!
This pisses me off so much. I've worked in retail, and as difficult as it may be to count change for some people, it NEEDS to be done. People should take their work more seriously, if you can not do your customers the service of counting their money back to them, then you need to find a new job.
By continuing to try and count change to customers, you will figure out how to do it. Practice makes perfect, and it can't feel good to get all of those looks from people that make you feel like a moron. So please, for everyone's sake, don't make the general population of America look any dumber than we are. COUNT CHANGE!!!!
3/27/10
In 8 Days
Baseball will begin again. I am indeed looking forward to next Sunday when I will get to ring in the new baseball season with the Yankees and Red Sox on opening day. This is going to be tight! Last year I would call a disappointment. I hate the Yankees, but they deserved to win the World Series. It hurts to say but they kicked ass. This year could be different, and every baseball season is like that. Each year can be different.
There hasn't been a back to back WS winner in years. Sure the Red Sox have won a couple, but there hasn't been a repeat champ in a decade. But lets be real, any team could be in the October Classic. I would feel comfortable saying the Kansas City Royals could win, or even the Washington Nationals. And that is great for sports. You can not believe other sports are like that. Because in football, we know the Lions will suck for years, and in basketball the Nets just won't be great. Well, until one of their owners Jay-Z buys Lebron and they kick ass, right after he drops an album.
Either way, it is coming soon. Opening Day 2010. When everyone knows, this will be their teams season. Go Expos!
There hasn't been a back to back WS winner in years. Sure the Red Sox have won a couple, but there hasn't been a repeat champ in a decade. But lets be real, any team could be in the October Classic. I would feel comfortable saying the Kansas City Royals could win, or even the Washington Nationals. And that is great for sports. You can not believe other sports are like that. Because in football, we know the Lions will suck for years, and in basketball the Nets just won't be great. Well, until one of their owners Jay-Z buys Lebron and they kick ass, right after he drops an album.
Either way, it is coming soon. Opening Day 2010. When everyone knows, this will be their teams season. Go Expos!
Suicide
I think suicide is crucial to level out sanity amongst the population. Though selfish and half-baked, suicide could perhaps be the most selfless thing a person could do. I've seen many people die, and many of them were from suicide. As much as it hurts to lose those individuals, it is worse to think they could live on to spread the psychosis they have when they have children. It would be cruel to bring a child in to this earth who would have that problem, maybe share a gene that makes it possibly.
I would never high five a person for taking their own life, and I would be crushed if someone I was close with at this point in my life took their life. And surely someone who reads this has probably lost someone recently, and for that I am sorry. I just happen to look at it a little differently. Of course there are better options then killing yourself, so excercise those.
I would never high five a person for taking their own life, and I would be crushed if someone I was close with at this point in my life took their life. And surely someone who reads this has probably lost someone recently, and for that I am sorry. I just happen to look at it a little differently. Of course there are better options then killing yourself, so excercise those.
3/26/10
Network
So there was once this movie, with a pretty sweet cast and interesting story line. It captivated it's audience by getting them emotionally invested in some areas. But somewhere along the lines, they couldn't think of a good ending. So the producers pondered really hard how to make a quality ending. It was not going to be easy, there were 10 different main characters and no way out of this already long script. Then as an easy way out, maybe to save production costs they decided to just kill off the main character (in my opinion).
SPOILERS!!!!!
Network was an interesting tale of a man who wanted high television ratings. At the beginning of the film he says he is going to kill himself, and at the end, he was killed. Maybe I do not know much about screenplay writing, but I know the easiest way to end a movie has to be the worst way to end a movie. I expected a suicide, and I deserved a suicide. At the end of the film when the Network decided to commit the murder, I was positive the suicide would have happened first. Instead, they took the easy road. Just think if the Bible ended with Jesus getting struck by lightening once rather than a trudge through the masses of people with a cross on his back. Pretty weak Network. Maybe let the Coen Brothers do a rewrite.
SPOILERS!!!!!
Network was an interesting tale of a man who wanted high television ratings. At the beginning of the film he says he is going to kill himself, and at the end, he was killed. Maybe I do not know much about screenplay writing, but I know the easiest way to end a movie has to be the worst way to end a movie. I expected a suicide, and I deserved a suicide. At the end of the film when the Network decided to commit the murder, I was positive the suicide would have happened first. Instead, they took the easy road. Just think if the Bible ended with Jesus getting struck by lightening once rather than a trudge through the masses of people with a cross on his back. Pretty weak Network. Maybe let the Coen Brothers do a rewrite.
3/14/10
The Hammer
This movie starring Adam Carolla is perhaps one of the besfilms I've seen in a long time. It is a story about a boxing instructor who takes a shot at the chance of a lifetime.
I'm not going to go and ruin the whole thing for you, so I will just tell you why to peep it. First of all, ADAM CAROLLA IS A HOOT! He brings his A game when it comes to the one liners he has in this flick. Aside from it being one of the best boxing movies I've ever seen ,it also could go punch for punch with any of the hilarious comedies that have come out over the years.
It goes to show that a low budget movie can be done and still turn some heads. With all the hype over special effects and other bullcrap, this movie is plainly and simply a story about a man, a person, just like you and me. It is simple, but a story that should touch anyone.
Man Versus Food
I just came to the conclusion that Adam Richman, host of Travel Channel's Man V. Food should wait til he gets to the office every morning before he takes a crap. Believe me, if your job was to put up to four pounds of random foods including Philly cheeststeaks, massive hamburgers and pretty much any type of Mexican foods; you would be spending large amounts of time on the porcelain recliner. If such a large amount of my day stemmed from eating loads of food I would make sure I was getting reimbursed for the time pooping. Someone should tell Adam this, for he may be able to get back pay for spending time dumping at home.
3/13/10
I Hope Jay-Z Had a 3-way With These Two
Lady Gaga has done it again. She has made perhaps the sweetest music video I have seen in years. She, Beyonce, and Tyrese Gibbs star in this short film which is over 9 minutes long. It has many little tributes to Michael Jackson's thriller and references to some Quinten Tarantino films. Packed full of lesbian inuendos and a whole lot of naked Gaga. She even takes a stab at the comments floating around about the possibility of her having a dick.
The video has a great filmmaking quality about it. Bright colors and contrasting patterns. Their use of camera angles blew my mind, and they had a very unique style which is a quality I don't see much in music videos. The video has product placement, masturbation, and some killer outfits. At one point Lady Gaga is wearing a pair of sunglasses with cigarettes burning on them. Take a peek, you won't regret watching this dope video.
The video has a great filmmaking quality about it. Bright colors and contrasting patterns. Their use of camera angles blew my mind, and they had a very unique style which is a quality I don't see much in music videos. The video has product placement, masturbation, and some killer outfits. At one point Lady Gaga is wearing a pair of sunglasses with cigarettes burning on them. Take a peek, you won't regret watching this dope video.
3/12/10
The Good Life on Film//// Final Collumn
How is it that we refer to this state? Oh yes, the good life. Nebraska certainly is the good life, we have high speed internet, access to hallucinogens, and of course we are responsible for Dick Cheney. Our fine state produced the delicious McRib and also started Arbor Day. However, if your only knowledge of Nebraska comes from watching movies, you’ll likely want to stay as far away as possible.
Cinema has not been Nebraska’s best friend. In fact, it makes us either seem like cross-dressers, wolves or little blonde children lurking around in fields. To set the record straight, some of the events in movies that take place in Cornhusker State are indeed true stories. One of which, Night of the Twisters stars Devon Sawa as a teenager involved in the devastating tornadoes that touched down in Grand Island over 25 years ago.
Unfortunately the film that hurts us the most is a true story, involving Brandon Teena, a transgender portrayed by Hillary Swank in Boys Don’t Cry, a movie chronicling the time frame before and leading up to her being sexually assaulted and killed by her friends. Though the incident was headline news for a long time, it still set Nebraska back about 50 years.
If you found that crazy, here are some of the not so real murderous stories set in Nebraska. Children of the Corn was based on Stephen King’s novella and featured little blonde children who are in a cult in the town of Gatlin NE, where they are told by a supernatural force in the cornfields that they should kill the adults. A bickering couple drives through Gatlin to report a murder, when they find themselves in the midst of a religious rebellion. Pretty creepy, huh? We’ve yet to touch base on strange, the children of the corn are puppets next to this Nebraskan.
In the special effects driven Teen Wolf, the always charming Michael J. Fox stars as Scott Howard, a normal guy whose popularity and basketball skills drastically change as he discovers his family’s secret, they’re werewolves. Scott and his sidekick and nutty cousin Stiles market his Teen Wolf-iness and get wild on top of the family’s utility vehicle. It is absolutely true that Nebraskans love to jump on bandwagons. No one loved the Rockies more in the 2007 World Series than us and I bet no other state spent more money on United States flag items than Nebraskans, so I would agree that people in this state would buy loads of Teen Wolf gear.
There are sleepers when it comes to films around here. In one of Alexander Payne’s many Nebraska movies Election it features Omaha’s Chris Klein and Matthew Broderick in a tie for two of the most awkward sex scenes ever. It is a great flick, no doubt about it. In another he exposes Kathy Bates in one of the greatest ways I have seen her, and no not as the Unsinkable Molly Brown in Titanic. You may find it strange, but I must be honest, there is something strangely sexy about seeing Kathy Bates get down to her birthday suit in About Schmidt. Alexander Payne, you are a great Nebraskan.
Perhaps the state of Nebraska should stay out of film altogether. Iowa learned its lesson with Field of Dreams and hasn’t made a film yet. Lord knows they don’t want people to think there are voices telling you to do crazy things in their cornfields. Perhaps it’s best we leave it up to Hollywood. We’ll stock up on hallucinogens, put our Dorothy Lynch on our salads, and maybe go on a hunting adventure with Dick Cheney. Sounds like the Good Life. Sounds like a screenplay . . .
Cinema has not been Nebraska’s best friend. In fact, it makes us either seem like cross-dressers, wolves or little blonde children lurking around in fields. To set the record straight, some of the events in movies that take place in Cornhusker State are indeed true stories. One of which, Night of the Twisters stars Devon Sawa as a teenager involved in the devastating tornadoes that touched down in Grand Island over 25 years ago.
Unfortunately the film that hurts us the most is a true story, involving Brandon Teena, a transgender portrayed by Hillary Swank in Boys Don’t Cry, a movie chronicling the time frame before and leading up to her being sexually assaulted and killed by her friends. Though the incident was headline news for a long time, it still set Nebraska back about 50 years.
If you found that crazy, here are some of the not so real murderous stories set in Nebraska. Children of the Corn was based on Stephen King’s novella and featured little blonde children who are in a cult in the town of Gatlin NE, where they are told by a supernatural force in the cornfields that they should kill the adults. A bickering couple drives through Gatlin to report a murder, when they find themselves in the midst of a religious rebellion. Pretty creepy, huh? We’ve yet to touch base on strange, the children of the corn are puppets next to this Nebraskan.
In the special effects driven Teen Wolf, the always charming Michael J. Fox stars as Scott Howard, a normal guy whose popularity and basketball skills drastically change as he discovers his family’s secret, they’re werewolves. Scott and his sidekick and nutty cousin Stiles market his Teen Wolf-iness and get wild on top of the family’s utility vehicle. It is absolutely true that Nebraskans love to jump on bandwagons. No one loved the Rockies more in the 2007 World Series than us and I bet no other state spent more money on United States flag items than Nebraskans, so I would agree that people in this state would buy loads of Teen Wolf gear.
There are sleepers when it comes to films around here. In one of Alexander Payne’s many Nebraska movies Election it features Omaha’s Chris Klein and Matthew Broderick in a tie for two of the most awkward sex scenes ever. It is a great flick, no doubt about it. In another he exposes Kathy Bates in one of the greatest ways I have seen her, and no not as the Unsinkable Molly Brown in Titanic. You may find it strange, but I must be honest, there is something strangely sexy about seeing Kathy Bates get down to her birthday suit in About Schmidt. Alexander Payne, you are a great Nebraskan.
Perhaps the state of Nebraska should stay out of film altogether. Iowa learned its lesson with Field of Dreams and hasn’t made a film yet. Lord knows they don’t want people to think there are voices telling you to do crazy things in their cornfields. Perhaps it’s best we leave it up to Hollywood. We’ll stock up on hallucinogens, put our Dorothy Lynch on our salads, and maybe go on a hunting adventure with Dick Cheney. Sounds like the Good Life. Sounds like a screenplay . . .
Rough.
How is it that we refer to this state? Oh yes, the good life. Nebraska certainly is the good life, we have high speed internet, access to hallucinogens, and of course we are responsible for Dick Cheney. Our fine state produced the delicious McRib and also started Arbor Day. However, if your only knowledge of Nebraska comes from watching movies, you’ll likely want to stay as far away as possible.
3/10/10
Cory of the Year
One less. That is right. Out of the hundreds of assholes who gave 'Corys' of the world a bad name has died. There have only been about two people I've met named Corey have been tolerable people and I've never met someone who spelled their name the way I do who has not been a complete asshole.
Now that Corey Haim has died, there is just one less person giving me a bad name. His drug abuse and terrible films have given him a recognizable name in the world as long as hanging out with the mildly respectable Corey Feldman. He was really nothing but Robin to the Batman.
It is really unfortunate that the only famous Coreys who weren't total douchebags either played a one-eared lunatic or sang a song about Sunglasses at Night. Alright, Corey Hart was a badass.
I'm not pleased the star of License to Drive is dead. I wouldt steal a car to bang Heather Graham as well. I just wish he would have changed his name to something like Rex or the name of his roommate in his frat house. Corey Haim will now be forever remembered as the Corey who died with prescription pills nearby with his mom in the room. And for that, I'm glad I'll be the Cory who died during an wing eating contest with Barry Bonds and Prince Fielder's fat asses.
(If you haven't seen License to Drive, this trailer will suffice. It explais thewhole story)
Now that Corey Haim has died, there is just one less person giving me a bad name. His drug abuse and terrible films have given him a recognizable name in the world as long as hanging out with the mildly respectable Corey Feldman. He was really nothing but Robin to the Batman.
It is really unfortunate that the only famous Coreys who weren't total douchebags either played a one-eared lunatic or sang a song about Sunglasses at Night. Alright, Corey Hart was a badass.
I'm not pleased the star of License to Drive is dead. I wouldt steal a car to bang Heather Graham as well. I just wish he would have changed his name to something like Rex or the name of his roommate in his frat house. Corey Haim will now be forever remembered as the Corey who died with prescription pills nearby with his mom in the room. And for that, I'm glad I'll be the Cory who died during an wing eating contest with Barry Bonds and Prince Fielder's fat asses.
(If you haven't seen License to Drive, this trailer will suffice. It explais thewhole story)
No More Garciaparra
He had the quickest wrists in baseball, had the hottest wife in soccer, and hit a home run in his first at bat in the Major Leagues. Nomar Garciaparra was a sports icon for many people and now he is retiring from the sport. He was deemed the toughest out in baseball at a young age, and went on to achieve some of the greatest accomplishments in the sport. Lucky for those of us who could never get enough Nomar, he will be an analyst for the ESPN show Baseball Tonight.
3/7/10
New Study on Baby Suckling Reflex
A new study has been done on the suckling reflex formerly known for giving babies the ability to suck milk from their mothers breasts. Though it's former definition is a helpful tool, studies show the suckling reflex was indeed inherited for people to inhale plant matter.
While it is a necessity for a baby to receive milk, it seems to be much more important that people are able to smoke marijuana. So screw the scholars, I've found my own research out.
While it is a necessity for a baby to receive milk, it seems to be much more important that people are able to smoke marijuana. So screw the scholars, I've found my own research out.
3/5/10
The Gloat Formerly Known as Prince Fielder
So the fattest baseball player since his father played baseball Prince Fielder finally got what he deserved Thursday. No, the 4.4 million cows he has eaten solely by himself have not raised from the dead with the gaggles of pigs, chickens, grizzly bears and babies he's chowed down on either. In fact, the man had a baseball thrown at (and shortly lodged in) his back.
At the conclusion of last season, The Fat Prince of Brew-Air hit a walkoff homerun against the San Fran Giants. After huffing and puffing his way around the bases, he and his teammates engaged in a ridiculous celebration looking like either bowling pins or a line waiting behind Prince to use the restroom at Buffalo Wild Wings. If you aren't aware, just like crying and the Expos, celebration is not really tolerated in baseball. Unless of course you want to be jammed up like an actor on the set of his first gay porn.
For doing so, Giants southpaw pitcher and badass Barry Zito threw a pitch that hit Fielder in the back fat Thursday. An eye for an eye Prince. Will this make him move in with his auntie and uncle in Bel Air to avoid anymore people making trouble in his neighborhood, or should Fielder cry a river? Seem to me like he took it well, throwing the ball back to Zito.
If you want to act like a kid on the playground, be prepared to get some sweet chin music. I understand what it is like, being the porky one on the team, hoping to do some good instead of just being the kid who only wins races to the snacks after the game. You want to hit big, and show off bigger. And my God, Prince Fielder, really wants his teammates to stop making Purple Rain jokes at his expense.
You're a lucky bastard Prince. Be pleased that Barry Zito and the Giants had warm hearts, in allowing the retaliation of your stupid bragging to be done in Spring Training instead of the regular season when your stats matter. For that you owe them. I couldn't imagine you taking them out to dinner without eating their food before they can touch it. For Christ's sake, it is a buffet, just go get more. And be even more elated, that he barely threw the ball at you.
Prince, I hate when you hit homeruns, and I hate it worse when it is against the Cubs. Your dad and you should both take acai berry pills like Britney Spears, because you're beginning to get as fat as she is.
Love,
The 13-Year Old Cubs Fan in All of Us.
El Scorcho
(This blog was made after I read Hope's blog about her mouse)
I had a scorpion once, and I went to the pet store to buy it a mouse to eat in front of me. I was stoked, I was about to see some real gruesome stuff.
So at the pet store register, I looked in the paper bag holding El Scorcho's lunch, and I see the cute white and pink mouse inside. And I tell the girl at the counter to put it back, I couldn't let this happen.
She was pissed, and told me I had to do it myself. So I went upstairs to where they kept the mice, awfully close to the snake cages, and let all of the mice out and closed the door.
I walked out happy that I saved the little guy. However I wish I would have seen the face of that counter girl when she opened the door to the mice and snake cages, because all them mice would have just flooded the store.
I've decided to make this a blog, thank you Hope.
3/2/10
Cory and Danielle
Cory: Hey, Chad Ochocinco is going to be on Dancing With the Stars.
Danielle: Oh, that's funny.
Cory: Sports stars boost ratings so dudes are more willing to watch that shit.
Danielle: So you want to watch this?
Cory: God no. Kate Gosselin is on that shit.
Danielle: Who is Kate Gosselin? Was she in The Notebook?
Cory: No, that was Ryan Gosling.
Danielle: Oh, that's funny.
Cory: Sports stars boost ratings so dudes are more willing to watch that shit.
Danielle: So you want to watch this?
Cory: God no. Kate Gosselin is on that shit.
Danielle: Who is Kate Gosselin? Was she in The Notebook?
Cory: No, that was Ryan Gosling.
3/1/10
Watch this if you've made your mind up on health care reform
Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
Keith Olberman tells one of the most difficult stories a son could tell here, in this segment on his show. Whether you have made up your mind on the health care reform or not, you should peep this video and just see things through someone else's eyes.
I guess being an uninsured adult makes me worry . . . But I get insurance soon, so that's pretty dope.
Watching Lebron James Play Ball . . .
is like watching Ron Jeremy give it to a group of five women at once, while four other dudes look on.
It is amazing to see him penetrate the hole the way he does. Jamming it in the faces of the starstruck defenders.
As he chases down fast break, stuffing the opponent like a Thanksgiving turkey.
Seeing Lebron James play ball is like watching Ron Jeremy do a little hardwood action, fo sho!
It is amazing to see him penetrate the hole the way he does. Jamming it in the faces of the starstruck defenders.
As he chases down fast break, stuffing the opponent like a Thanksgiving turkey.
Seeing Lebron James play ball is like watching Ron Jeremy do a little hardwood action, fo sho!
2/27/10
Government Property My Ass
Lord knows if I challenged the cast of M*A*S*H to a fight, they would not go taddle me out to their superiors. They would probably just beat me over the head with my bottle of gin and make martinis with it.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Have you ever been in a bar, harmlessly drinking cement mixer after cement mixer, grabbing girl's asses and firing guns in the air . . . when a ripped, slightly slow, Marine walks up and starts shit with you?
Sure, we have ALL found ourselves in situations where a a military man, whether he be Naval, Army, Air Force, or Marine (never coastgaurd, they're afriad of everything, including water) puts his foot down on something you're doing, and demands you stop, or else!
Or else what, Jarhead? You'll take my freedom of speech away with your douchebag army wand? Or are you going to 'every which way but loose' my ass? Of course you want to fight, you're trained to do so. BUT! If I do decide to fight this angry gentleman, apparently I could get in more trouble than he can, for I would be tampering with government property.
If this is true, and we can be punished for tampering with government property for merely defending ourselves to some high and tight asshole, than I should be able to sue the government for unleashing their weapons amongst citizens. Would it be advisable for the army to let a loaded cannon hangout with a bunch of drunks, I don't think so.
If they're being labeled government property, they should have to stay locked up in the barracks. NOT, allowed where the average citizen drinks, and forgets about how the government is always bringing them down. Or perhaps the government should take some responsibility, and take the blame for the way some people on the military act.
It should be my American right to get the shit beat out of me by a Marine, and receive the same punishment. I should not be treated like I just banged one of the Bush twins on the Whitehouse steps.
Summing Tiger Woods up with Bill Maher
New Rule: Stop Saying "Sex Addict" Like It's a Bad Thing
aBOVE IS THE LINK TO A PIECE THAT bILL mAHER WROTE ABOUT tIGER wOODS. tAKE SOME TIME TO READ IT, AND LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF.
aBOVE IS THE LINK TO A PIECE THAT bILL mAHER WROTE ABOUT tIGER wOODS. tAKE SOME TIME TO READ IT, AND LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF.
2/26/10
Keeping Campus Safe
Keeping Campus Safe
By Cory Helie
With the recent safety alerts dispatched to UNK students involving a sex offender on campus, it brings up the topic of whether or not the right safety concerns are being raised over who is allowed to live on campus. On the University of Nebraska at Kearney’s web page, it reassures parents that their children will be safe, and has a team that cracks down on violence on campus.
It states:
As a parent, there is no single more important question to ask during the college search process than, “Will my child be safe?” When you come to visit us, talk to UNK students or their parents and they’ll most likely tell you the reason they chose to come here, above all, is because it felt like a safe, community-centered environment they could call “home”.
Maybe if you ask one of the students now, they could comment on how there was an individual on campus who was a registered sex offender, or how a man in 2005 went hysterical after falling in love with a woman who didn’t share the same feelings and eventually assaulted her and broke a glass door inside of a residence hall. Those students on campus could also mention how there was a man on campus in recent years who raped students, and UNK Police never apprehended.
Certainly these gentlemen had records of some sort that could have been pointed out by UNK officials if they went to that measure. There should be a way to distinguish people with mental instabilities from the other residence to ensure their safety. It would not make sense to outcast these people, but they should not be allowed access to campus late at night. Beefing up campus security would be a positive step in the right direction for the University.
In recent years, the UNK Police have been a laughable force amongst students on campus. They have been regarded as rent-a-cops, party cops, and downright old in some cases. By recently adding more officers to the bunch, the UNK Police seem to be getting their things together. It is just unfortunate that it hadn’t come sooner, to discover the most recent case of a sexual offender on campus Tyler Sedlak.
Sedlak was a student who is currently on the Nebraska Sex Offenders List. He was banned from campus for disruptive behavior. His status on the NSOL is a 15 year duration from August 8th, 2008 for being guilty of Sexual Abuse in the Third Degree when he or she subjecting another person to sexual contact without the latter's consent.
Why weren’t students informed of this before he was allowed on campus for over a year. Whether he was a registered student or not, he spent time on campus, and apparently caused disruptive behavior and reportedly creeped people out.
Had there been something done about these sooner, at least one disruption on campus would have been prevented. Keeping unstable people off at campus at night would make the place a little safer, and make parents sleep a little better at night, after all of the unfortunate things that happen.
Sources:
University of Nebraska at Kearney Website: www.unk.edu
Nebraska Sex Offenders Registry: http://www.nsp.state.ne.us/sor/Subject.cfm?vREGNUM=200808HRK
Claims:
* University officials need to work harder at keeping psychologically unstable people off of campus.
* By beefing up security, the campus will in turn be safer.
By Cory Helie
With the recent safety alerts dispatched to UNK students involving a sex offender on campus, it brings up the topic of whether or not the right safety concerns are being raised over who is allowed to live on campus. On the University of Nebraska at Kearney’s web page, it reassures parents that their children will be safe, and has a team that cracks down on violence on campus.
It states:
As a parent, there is no single more important question to ask during the college search process than, “Will my child be safe?” When you come to visit us, talk to UNK students or their parents and they’ll most likely tell you the reason they chose to come here, above all, is because it felt like a safe, community-centered environment they could call “home”.
Maybe if you ask one of the students now, they could comment on how there was an individual on campus who was a registered sex offender, or how a man in 2005 went hysterical after falling in love with a woman who didn’t share the same feelings and eventually assaulted her and broke a glass door inside of a residence hall. Those students on campus could also mention how there was a man on campus in recent years who raped students, and UNK Police never apprehended.
Certainly these gentlemen had records of some sort that could have been pointed out by UNK officials if they went to that measure. There should be a way to distinguish people with mental instabilities from the other residence to ensure their safety. It would not make sense to outcast these people, but they should not be allowed access to campus late at night. Beefing up campus security would be a positive step in the right direction for the University.
In recent years, the UNK Police have been a laughable force amongst students on campus. They have been regarded as rent-a-cops, party cops, and downright old in some cases. By recently adding more officers to the bunch, the UNK Police seem to be getting their things together. It is just unfortunate that it hadn’t come sooner, to discover the most recent case of a sexual offender on campus Tyler Sedlak.
Sedlak was a student who is currently on the Nebraska Sex Offenders List. He was banned from campus for disruptive behavior. His status on the NSOL is a 15 year duration from August 8th, 2008 for being guilty of Sexual Abuse in the Third Degree when he or she subjecting another person to sexual contact without the latter's consent.
Why weren’t students informed of this before he was allowed on campus for over a year. Whether he was a registered student or not, he spent time on campus, and apparently caused disruptive behavior and reportedly creeped people out.
Had there been something done about these sooner, at least one disruption on campus would have been prevented. Keeping unstable people off at campus at night would make the place a little safer, and make parents sleep a little better at night, after all of the unfortunate things that happen.
Sources:
University of Nebraska at Kearney Website: www.unk.edu
Nebraska Sex Offenders Registry: http://www.nsp.state.ne.us/sor/Subject.cfm?vREGNUM=200808HRK
Claims:
* University officials need to work harder at keeping psychologically unstable people off of campus.
* By beefing up security, the campus will in turn be safer.
Sex Offender Part Dos
OH here it comes.
Students should be administered psychological evaluations before being allowed to live on campus.
• 2005 act of violence on UNK campus to young woman.
• 2010 man banned from campus, who is also a sexual predator.
• UNK Police are worthless.
• Is it safe to live near a virgin.
• I lived on campus for 2 years . . .
• Rapist on campus. Raped some people.
• Oh, and UNK police are worthless.
More to come . . .
With the recent warnings sent out to UNK students involving a sex offender on campus, it brings up the topic of whether or not the right safety concerns are being raised over who is allowed to live on campus.
Students should be administered psychological evaluations before being allowed to live on campus.
• 2005 act of violence on UNK campus to young woman.
• 2010 man banned from campus, who is also a sexual predator.
• UNK Police are worthless.
• Is it safe to live near a virgin.
• I lived on campus for 2 years . . .
• Rapist on campus. Raped some people.
• Oh, and UNK police are worthless.
More to come . . .
With the recent warnings sent out to UNK students involving a sex offender on campus, it brings up the topic of whether or not the right safety concerns are being raised over who is allowed to live on campus.
Barry Bonds
WARNING: I LET MY REDNECK COUSIN WALTER FROM ATLANTA MAKE THIS EXTREMELY RACIST POST. DO NOT DISCREDIT ME, I THINK IT IS HILARIOUS.
Well, hell. We dun screwed up ageen. We gave such a hurrible name to my favorite player John Rocker, that he had to quit baseball just when we needed him most. There used to be this beluv'd record in sports. It was Babe Ruth's home run record and it was tarnished by Barry Bonds.
Barry Bonds has taken more steroids that I've taken cousins to the shed. Heck, I think he's had more shots up the butt than porn star, and his testicles are about as useless as a sheep with a castrating ring on.
Now, I dunno about ya'll, but I don't need no beef jerky eatin', doped out of his mind Barry Bongs being the homer champ. An'it could have been prevented if no one would have been such a prick to John Rocker.
John Rocker spoke his mind, and he didn't like certain races. Now I'm not saying John Rocker could have out pitched Barry Bonds and stopped him from hitting all them home runs. But I am saying that John Rocker, had be stayed in the game longer, could have thrown one fateful baseball, that could have hit Barry Bongs in the face and blinded him for life.
Thus, we would not have to see and asterisk next to his name. Damn you all for casting stones at John Rocker, he could have saved the game.
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THANKS FOR YOUR OPINIONS WALTER. TO HELP CLARIFY SOME THINGS ABOVE, AND HOW TRULY RACIST JOHN ROCKER WAS/IS. CHECK OUT THIS QUOTE FROM SPORTS ILLUSTRATED BELOW, WHERE JOHN ROCKER SPEAKS ABOUT NEW YORK.
“It’s the most hectic, nerve-racking city. Imagine having to take the 7 train to the ballpark, looking like you’re in Beruit riding next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old Mom with four kids. It’s depressing……The biggest thing I don’t like about New York are the foreigners. You can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English. Asians and Koreans and Vietnamese and Indians and Russians and Spanish people and everything up there. How the hell did they get in this country?”
Rough Draft Editorial
Students should be administered psychological evaluations before being allowed to live on campus.
• 2005 act of violence on UNK campus to young woman.
• 2010 man banned from campus, who is also a sexual predator.
• UNK Police are worthless.
• Is it safe to live near a virgin.
• I lived on campus for 2 years . . .
• Rapist on campus. Raped some people.
• Oh, and UNK police are worthless.
More to come . . .
With the recent warnings sent out to UNK students involving a sex offender on campus, it brings up the topic of whether or not the right safety concerns are being raised over who is allowed to live on campus.
Sources:
University of Nebraska at Kearney Website: www.unk.edu
Nebraska Sex Offenders Registry: http://www.nsp.state.ne.us/sor/Subject.cfm?vREGNUM=200808HRK
Claims:
* University officials need to work harder at keeping psychologically unstable people off of campus.
* By beefing up security, the campus will in turn be safer.
• 2005 act of violence on UNK campus to young woman.
• 2010 man banned from campus, who is also a sexual predator.
• UNK Police are worthless.
• Is it safe to live near a virgin.
• I lived on campus for 2 years . . .
• Rapist on campus. Raped some people.
• Oh, and UNK police are worthless.
More to come . . .
With the recent warnings sent out to UNK students involving a sex offender on campus, it brings up the topic of whether or not the right safety concerns are being raised over who is allowed to live on campus.
Sources:
University of Nebraska at Kearney Website: www.unk.edu
Nebraska Sex Offenders Registry: http://www.nsp.state.ne.us/sor/Subject.cfm?vREGNUM=200808HRK
Claims:
* University officials need to work harder at keeping psychologically unstable people off of campus.
* By beefing up security, the campus will in turn be safer.
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